


Now with 100% more gay

by suspencer



Series: MGC [2]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: :)))), Group chat, I dont know how to tag, Multi, Texting, basically what you need to know is that no one is straight, bc ya boi is rlly gay and i love projecting, but ya know, idk why i made sabrina nb but it happened so, it took me liek solid 3 months to make the sequel, it's back bois, its a group chat, its the mgc, lmao this is the long awaited sequel to the mgc, so enjoy that level of trash, they/them pronouns for sabrina, this time its rlly gay tho, ya boi boutta start hsc why am i like this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2018-10-29 00:50:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 4,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10843014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suspencer/pseuds/suspencer
Summary: sequel to the miraculous group so really you know what to expecttbh this is back bc i'm bored





	1. nice!

**Author's Note:**

> lmao 
> 
> Mari: bread  
> Adrien: space stan  
> Nino: raging unlabelled  
> Alya: #2 salty boy  
> Sabrina: chaotic goblin  
> Chloe: #1 salty boy  
> Juleka: sword lesbian  
> Rose: wholesome lesbian

_#1 salty boy added bread, space stan, chaotic goblin, #2 salty boy, sword lesbian, wholesome lesbian and raging unlabelled to the chat_

_raging unlabelled named the chat nice!_

**#1 salty boy:** brought the squad back from the ded 

**raging unlabelled:** nice! 

**space stan:** nice! 

**bread:** nice! 

**chaotic goblin:** nice!

**sword lesbian:** nice! 

**#2 salty boy:** so what's up

**bread:** not my self-esteem lmao 

**wholesome lesbian:**  what have you heathens done to mari she was such a pure sweet positive human 

**chaotic goblin:** heathens i am a l e r t 

**raging unlabelled:** *suicide squad flashbacks* 

**#1 salty boy:** anyway 

**#1 salty boy:** Not to be heterophobic but like I hate straight people and need a chat to be away from their nonsense

**chaotic goblin:** lmao y am i here then 

**sword lesbian:** ew a heterosexual 

**chaotic goblin:** um heteros are attracted to the opposite gender and i dont have a gender try again sweaty :)

**#2 salty boy:** woah the old chat died like 3 months ago and suddenly we're all gay and sabrina has no gender 

**raging unlabelled:** lmao this chat is wild already i missed yall 

**wholesome lesbian:** what pronouns you using sabrina and like any other stuff we should knwo for talking about/ to you 

**chaotic goblin:** lmao been using they/them pronouns as of late i'll let yall kno if that changes 

**chaotic goblin:** otherwise???? not rlly 

**#1 salty boy:** beaut 

**bread:** in french they don't say i love you they say Le pain, elle aime and i think that's beautiful 


	2. i'm cackling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **bread:** death is too permanent 
> 
> **bread:** i just want a self-induced coma 
> 
> **space stan:** that's called depression,,,,,,, there's medication for that 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao so irl i have a gay chat it's called the wholesome gays™ and i mentioned it to caitlin casually and she got so offended she made a straight chat i'm still cackling about it

**sword lesbian:** so ummm,,,,, i'm gay 4 hayley williams 

**#1 salty boy:** bitch me too the fuck 

**sword lesbian:** im #living 4 the new era 

**wholesome lesbian:** gaSP 

**wholesome lesbian:** the rumour come out 

**wholesome lesbian:** does is chloe emo?

**chaotic goblin:** i does is have to know 

**#1 salty boy:** rose 

**#1 salty boy:** kys 

**bread:** death is too permanent 

**bread:** i just want a self-induced coma 

**space stan:** that's called depression,,,,,,, there's medication for that 

**sword lesbian:** lmao whilst were on the topic of emo 

**ragining unlabelled:** we arent????? we moved on????? mari is depressed????? this is #1 concern?????

**sword lesbian:** a n y w a y 

**sword lesbian:** opinions on the new fall out boy song, yay or nay 

**#1 salty boy:** yay, i support the e x p e r i m e n t a t i o n 

**chaotic goblin:** i give it a solid eh/10 

**#2 salty boy:** yay, it's good 

**space stan:** nay, where is the bass ?????

**space stan:** where is pete wentz ??????

**bread:** he go get a sandwhich 

**raging unlabelled:** lmao nay, why the dubstep 

**wholesome lesbian:** right??????? why you do that too patricks sweet sweet soul voice 

**#1 salty boy:** lesb real tho 

**#1 salty boy:** andy hurley doing gods work w/ those drums 

**sword lesbian:** me anytime andy hurley drums:  

### Notes:

> so umm,,,,,,, ya boy is emo,,,,,,,,, i love hayley williams and would die for her,,,, also fob stan tbh,,,,,,,, idk how i feel about the new song,,,,,,,bc on one hand i love and support my boys,,,,,,,, on the other hand where is pete wentz??????? he go get a sandwhich 
> 
> lmao im probs gonna update weekly but like i got time today so like bonus update???
> 
> follow me on
> 
>  
> 
> [tumblr](http://ididntjusttrip.tumblr.com/)


	3. shrek finna make me straight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **wholesome lesbian:** when u so wholesome you gotta stab some binches 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ya boy got kik, it humancatashtrophe add me hoes :)

**wholesome lesbian:**  I was told by a lovely young man the other day 

**wholesome lesbian:**  that I look like Shrek

**wholesome lesbian:** and I've never felt better about myself it made me genuinely laugh

**#2 salty boy:**  Omg what a compliment love that Shrek finna make me straight

**space stan:** fiona makes me moist 

**wholesome lesbian:** omg stop 

**#2 salty boy:**  OMG I WANT THOSE SHREK TITTIES

**wholesome lesbian:**  fuxj offn

**raging unlabelled:** when u so wholesome you gotta censor yourself 

**wholesome lesbian:** when u so wholesome you gotta stab some binches 

**chaotic goblin:** What I wanna know is where are the other ogres

**chaitic goblin:** Is shrek the only one???

**chaotic goblin:** is the real story of Shrek not about what somebody once told the guy from smash mouth but instead about the endangerment of entire species

**chaotic goblin:**  And If this is the true tale of our green friend then his children finna have to bang to keep the species alive

**sword lesbian:** we're at fucking school stop spamming the chat 

**raging unlabelled:** no sabrina is right 

**raging unlabelled:** shrek is so much darker than i remember 

**#1 salty boy:** i heard shrek i'm finna nut 

**#1 salty boy:**  ,,,,,,,,someBODY ONCE TOLD ME 

**wholesome lesbian:** i hate each and every single one of you and i hope you all burn in the firey pits of mordor 

**space stan:** do i detect,,,,,,,

**space stan:** a book of mormon reference ?????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao them daily updates enjoy binches 
> 
> follow me on
> 
> [tumblr](http://ididntjusttrip.tumblr.com/)


	4. ray martin from 60 minutes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **raging unlabelled:** you know rose 
> 
> **raging unlabelled:** i aint even mad 
> 
> **#1 salty boy:** what the fuck is wrong with you all 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it is the day of my birth so i bless you all w/ this update

**raging unlabelled:**  ray martin from 60 minutes 

**#2 salty boy:** it's ray martin from 60 minutes 

**space stan:** ray martin 

**bread:** from 60 minutes 

**sword lesbian:** i am so very afraid to ask 

_#2 salty boy changed the chat name is ray martin from 60 minutes_

_#2 salty boy changed their nickname_ too _ray martin's partner_  

**ray martin's partner:** we met ray martin from 60 minutes 

**bread:** i must say his hand was very low on the hips 

**ray martin' partner:** i'd fuck ray martin from 60 minutes 

**wholesome lesbian:** w o w how does it feel adrien nino and mari 

**wholesome lesbian:** to know your on the same level as ray martin 

**space stan:** from 60 minutes 

**raging unlabelled:** you know rose 

**raging unlabelled:** i aint even mad 

**#1 salty boy:** what the fuck is wrong with you all 

**space stan:**  What the fuck did you just fucking say about ray martin, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

**chaotic goblin:** an old meme ew. 

**bread:** well chloe, i thought for a little bit that we might kinda be friends 

**bread:** but if you can't respect ray martin then i can't respect you 

**sword lesbian:** who even is ray martin???

**ray martin's partner:** *ray martin from 60 minutes 

**wholesome lesbian:** google is free 


	5. i'm gay for barrett wilbert weed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _bread set the chat name to depression_  
> 
> **bread:** more relatable 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> today i woke up feeling gayer than usual also i made a litre of tea at like 7 pm

**sword lesbian:** i'm very confused about the chat name 

_bread set the chat name to depression_  

**bread:** more relatable 

_raging unlabelled set the chat name to ugg boot 4 win_

**raging unlabelled:** even more relatable 

**sword lesbian:**  i liked depression better go back to that

**raging unlabelled:** Fuck u hoe suck a tit

**raging unlabelled:**  "she is gay" Marinette Dupain-Cheng 2k17

**sword lesbian:** i am gay 

**sword lesbian:** these are facts 

_raging unlabelled set their nickname to ugg boots_

_ugg boots set sword lesbian's name to gAy_

**gAy:** boi u rite 

**ray martin's partner:** I have spent

**ray martin's partner:** 6 hours

**ray martin's partner:** building an ikea desk

**ray martin's partner:** with nan

**#1 salty boy:** what the heck 

**ray martin's partner:** and we still have to finish the top bit

**ray martin's partner:**  *insert picture of half built desk w/ caption get fucked*

_ugg boots set_ ray _martin's partner's name to "boring" - 2k17_  

**bread:** just like your penis size 

**#1 salty boy:** BAHAHA

**"boring" - 2k17:** oh my god 

**bread:** like your penis size 

**gAy:** mari very insistent about the penis size comment 

 


	6. it's been a while but this actually happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> art camp™ is wild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao so i didnt update last week bc i was lazy and then i went on art camp and this happened and tbh i dont think anyone has recovered from the trauma of that night

**bread:** who in their right goddamned mind looked at the art kids and thought "ya know what they need, to get up at 5:30 am"

**wholesome lesbian:** it's still dark outside ????? why is school like this ???

**chaotic goblin:** you know if we lived in the us we would be up like this early everyday 

**wholesome lesbian:** that's disgusting,, in this the month of june,,, when we the gays are at our strongest,,,,,,, we need to free those pure children 

**bread:** is it socially acceptable to show up in pjs 

**chaotic goblin:** hunty you think im getting dressed for a 6 hour car trip 

**bread:** fair point 

 

**ugg boots:** so how's the camp going ???

 

**ugg boots:** well i'm glad to hear that 

**chaotic goblin:** preciate the sarcasm nino

**ugg boots:** im glad 

**ugg boots:** but how is it 

 

**bread:**  Hello naughty children we are gonna die

**bread:** Lila set the place on fire

**gAy:**  Oh my god whAt

**bread:**  We are literally evacuating

**#1 salty boy:**  Wait

**#1 salty boy:**  Like actually?

**#1 salty boy:**  Like how bad is the fire 

**bread:**  Yeah boi

**bread:**  There isn't actually a fire according to gaff

**bread:**  The teachers are fuckin memeing it they made us take a group photo 

**#1 salty boy:** so confused 

**bread:** so are we 

**ugg boots:** lol 

**bread:** we saw a big boy 

 

**bread:** HOLY SHIT guys

**bread:** Omg im screaming 

**space stan:** hi babe 

**bread:** i'm crying 

**bread:** so 

**space stan:** whats up 

**bread:** sabrina hoes 

**bread:** *goes 

**"boring" - 2k17:** what 

**bread:** i've never seen anyone naked 

**bread:**  And we are just sitting in a group 

**bread:** and rose promptly stands up 

**gAy:** no 

**bread:**  And starts unbuttoning her onesie

**space stan:** oh god

**bread:**  And we all giggle thinking what a godo joke 

**bread:**  And rose proceeds to get fucking naked

**#1 salty boy:**  AHAHHHHA GOSH

**space stan:** is sabrina ok?

**space stan:** are they traumatised?

**bread:**  And she just stands completely still

**"boring" - 2k17:** oh my goodness 

**bread:** staring at sabrina 

**bread:** while sabrina buries their head in the pillow 

**bread:** and sabrina just ran off

**"boring" - 2k17:**  TBH I would love to have the self confidence rose has

**bread:**  While rose just stood completely still not saying anything

**bread:**  Fuckig naked

**gAy:** w h y 


	7. m e l o d r a m a t h o

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **bread:** hey now 
> 
> **space stan:** your an all star 
> 
> **gAy:** literally die adrien 
> 
> **bread:** anyway,,,,,,,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> melodrama has changed my life why does lorde always do this to me

**chaotic goblin:**  noah fence but melodrama is a masterpiece and idk how i existed in this world before it

**#1 salty boy:** yes babe 

**#1 salty boy:** i relate 

**#1 salty boy:** i've been listening to it all day 

**ugg boots:** i need to know fav songs from it stat 

**chaotic goblin:** ummm,,,, supercut,,,,, obviously 

**#1 salty boy:** writer in the dark 

**chaotic goblin:** pray tell nino whats ur fav 

**ugg boots:** liability 

**#1 salty boy:** ew a pre album release how basic 

**ugg boots:** ummmm hunty no one called you out when u were stanning hard times 

**bread:** hey now 

**space stan:** your an all star 

**gAy:** literally die adrien 

**bread:** anyway,,,,,,,

**bread:** hard times is bop so like you cant shit on chloe for having taste 

**"boring" - 2k17:** liability is also a bop so ummm,,,,,,, check urself sweaty :))

**wholesome lesbian:** things are heating up in the ot4 fandom 

**space stan:** wouldnt we be the adrieninoalyanette fandom

**"boring" - 2k17:** thats way too fuckin long we're the ot4 

**bread:**  ^^^^


	8. having a functional brain what's that idk her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **chaotic goblin:** idk man from what juleka's told me it sounds pre lit 
> 
> **"boring" - 2k17:** please dont say lit 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> today is not a good brain day so i figured i grace you all w/ the deets of what it's like to live in my brain through shitposty chapter of this trash fic

_pm w/ chaotic goblin and "boring" - 2k17_  

**chaotic goblin:** alya 

**"boring" - 2k17:** sabrina 

**chaotic goblin:** on a scale of 1 - 10 how extra would it be to call my therapist and get him to put me in psych ward so that i don't have to do ppl things be 

**"boring" - 2k17:** do not do that 

**"boring" - 2k17:** it would give you so much anxiety 

**chaotic goblin:** idk man from what juleka's told me it sounds pre lit 

**"boring" - 2k17:** please dont say lit 

**"boring" - 2k17:** and whats up ??? like why do you wanna get into a psych ward ????

**chaotic goblin:** i just like,, ya know how we got our reports 

**"boring" - 2k17:** yeah 

**chaotic goblin:** well im failing like all of my classes 

**chaotic goblin:** and like idk i just feel like when i signed up for all my classes i was like in a good place mentally 

**chaotic goblin:** and this year it kinda took a nose dive like i am r e a l l y derealised rn 

**chaotic goblin:** i just like thought i was doing fine in most of my subjects so i guess im just disappointed

**chaotic goblin:**  and i feel guilty bc im like blaming my lack of success on my mental health 

**"boring" - 2k17:** you shouldnt feel guilty for connecting your lack of success to your derealisation 

**"boring" - 2k17:** and academic success isnt a measure of your worth and like school doesnt even accurately measure intelligence 

**"boring" - 2k17:** you're so smart sabrina 

**chaotic goblin:** thanks but yeah i just feel like theres a thick glass wall between myself and everything and i can't like process anything 

**chaotic goblin:** and everything feels too hot and too tight like im just kinda floating in the ether of time and space 

**chaotic goblin:** i just wanna feel here again like i feel like im watching my life happen and im not an active participant in it 

**chaotic goblin:** and i cant fuckin concentrate on anything 

**chaotic goblin:** idk ive got therapy tomorrow so hopefully i'll like deal with it all then 

**chaotic goblin:** sorry for dumping this all on you 

**"boing" - 2k17:** dont be sorry dude, im glad you told me 

**"boring" - 2k17:** i just wish there was some way i could like help 


	9. #killthetroll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **"boring" - 2k17:** omg i love penis 
> 
> **gAy:** i 
> 
> **gAy:** do not relate 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> umm so context for this chapter is kinda weird but yeah we used to be friends with this girl and then out of the blue she didn't invite us to her birthday party and then she like unfriended and unfollowed us on everything and literally won't talk to any of us so we call her the troll. also im on holidays so like hopefully you'll get some mid week updates and im in the process of writing a novel, read: im attempting to plot it even tho ive never plotted anything in my life, if you'd like to read any more serious non fanfic stuff i write including the first thousand words or so of this novel you can check out this
> 
> [tumblr ](http://method-of-human-communication.tumblr.com/)

**chaotic goblin:** lets talk about the troll 

**#1 salty boy:** ew i hate the troll 

**#1 salty boy:** #killthetroll 

**"boring" - 2k17:** some1 add lila pls daddies 

**ugg boots:** to this chat?? or the other one??

**ugg boots:** tbh someone do both 

**ugg boots:** i live for that drama 

**gAy:** i can if yah want 

**"boring" - 2k17:** GO JULEKA 

**bread:** do not volunteer 

**ugg boots:** I JUST WANT CONFRONTATION 

**ugg boots:** i feen to argue 

**bread:** arguing does not fill the void 

**bread:** i would know 

**ugg boots:**  a r g u e t o f i l l t h e v o i d

**ugg boots:**  t h e v o i d c r a v e s d i s c o u r s e

**wholesome lesbian:** hi 

**space stan:** im confused 

**chaotic goblin:** hi 

**#1 salty boy:** im confused 

**"boring" - 2k17:** omg i love penis 

**gAy:** i 

**gAy:** do not relate 

**bread:** i do n't relate to wanting to be alive 

**chaotic goblin:** now that's something i can relate to 

 


	10. the ground is moist and i feel alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **space stan:**  Like I'm not arguing I am a fuckin mess
> 
> **space stan:**  But I don't appreciate being called out like this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayy look it that mid week update i promised. i have no idea if its actually raining in paris but is raining where i live and my rich white boy friend™ is salty bc sydney is sunny and warm, also happy fourth of july to all the americans and if you arent american we can all share a moment of concern about the amount of intoxicated people with access to fireworks. 
> 
> on an unrelated note i'm probably gonna write some gay game of thrones fanfic so like i'll link that when i actually post it.

**space stan:**  The today show bagging us out whilst we all still sleeping

**space stan:** We lack basic life skills apperantly

**space stan:**  Like I'm not arguing I am a fuckin mess

**space stan:**  But I don't appreciate being called out like this

**wholesome lesbian:**  teenagers or something? get zucked TODAY

**"boring" - 2k17:**  I woke up at 8.45 went and fed my neighbours cats felt so ready to take on the world

**"boring" - 2k17:**  Then like the dumbest cunt ever

**"boring" - 2k17:**  Just hopped back into bed and went to sleep

_"boring" - 2k17 set their nickname to dumbest cunt ever_

**#1 salty boy:** the weather in nice is fucking amazing and it's raining 

**#1 salty boy:** in paris 

**#1 salty boy:** i wanna die 

**chaotic goblin:** i live for the rain 

**chaotic goblin:** the ground is moist and i feel alive 

_#1 salty boy sent a photo [_ it's screenshot of the weather in nice _]_

_#1 salty boy sent a photo [_ it's screenshot of the weather in paris _]_

**#1 salty boy:** FUCKING annoying 

**dumbest cunt ever:**  Thanks for responding everyone

**dumbest cunt ever:** wow nice weather is perfect 

**bread:** alya im proud of you even if you went back to sleep 

**dumbest cunt ever:** omg bread i love you so much 

**dumbest cunt ever:** you're a blessing 

**dumbest cunt ever:** i really love u 

**bread:** i love you too 


	11. tomato: the god fruit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **space stan:** catch me adding tomato to my fruit salad 
> 
> **dumbest cunt ever:** IMG WHAT 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just have really strong feelings on tomato, all opinions expressed by adrien are my own. 
> 
> also im writing this whilst im supposed to be plotting my novel which btw if you wanna talk to me about it you should totally dm my tumblr which linked in the notes at the end, it's a mystery and is really fucking gay, at this point i've plotted like the first 2 chapters but boy do i love inventing ridiculous headcanons for something that is supposed to be kinda sad

**#1 salty boy:** I can't sit in the same room as people that are eating plain egg

**#1 salty boy:** not just because I'm vegan

**#1 salty boy:**  I've taken maybe two bites of straight egg in my life

**#1 salty boy:**  egg smells disgusting

**space stan:**  Eggs is gr8 but like you gotta put that shit on toast w/ salt and pepper

**wholesome lesbian:**  And tomato

**space stan:**  Umm,,,,,,,,,,,,,,no

**wholesome lesbian:**  Umm yeah peper is yuck with out tomato or bacon

**space stan:**  Tomato is a holy fruit the loml but it does not go with eggs

**wholesome lesbian:**  I disagree

**space stan:** well then get out of my life 

_wholesome lesbian created a poll: is egg better with tomato?_

_dumbest cunt ever voted for "yes" in the poll: is egg better with tomato?_

_space stan voted for "no" in the poll: is egg better with tomato?_

**wholesome lesbian:**  Well ADRIEN people are all different you know and we all have our different opinions that don't match others

**wholesome lesbian:** but hunny that's just life and we have to deal with it 

**dumbest cunt ever:**  You're an angel rose I agree with you wholeheartedly

**space stan:**  Ya know I didn't expect to get "that's just your opinion hunny "'d over eggs with tomato

**space stan:**  I'm just saying that while I still love you all I cannot support your egg with tomato lifestyle

_ugg boots voted for "no" in the poll: is egg better with tomato?_

**ugg boots:** UHM no 

**space stan:** see nino knows what's up 

_#1 salty boy voted for "no" in the poll: is egg better with tomato?_

**ugg boots:** yes 

**#1 salty boy:** nothing can save egg

**chaotic goblin:** kale can 

**chaotic goblin:** i love kale 

**space stan:** it's green i don't trust it 

**chaotic goblin:**  If you put kale in the oven so they r crisp the r so yum

**chaotic goblin:**  It tastes like chips

**space stan:**  Only good green foods:apple and broccoli

**chaotic goblin:** beans?

**chaotic goblin:**  peas? 

**space stan:**  O n l y g o o d g r e e n f o o d s

_gAy voted for "no" in the poll: is egg better with tomato?_

**space stan:** juleka joins the club of people who know what's up 

**gAY:** i just dont like tomato 

**space stan:** i take it back juleka does not know what's up 

**dumbest cunt ever:** hahahah

**dumbest cunt ever:** reason adrien cut us all off:

**dumbest cunt ever:** tomato 

**gAy:**  Ahahah

**space stan:**  I just have very strong opinions on fruit

**dumbest cunt ever:**  i know it's a fruit but it makes me so uncomfrotable

**dumbest cunt ever:**  calling it a fruit

**dumbest cunt ever:**  FRUIT IS SWEET! JUICY!

**dumbest cunt ever:**  tomato is.. tomato 

**space stan:**  Tomato has so much juice tf you on about

**dumbest cunt ever:** not sweet juice 

**dumbest cunt ever:**  drinkable juive

**space stan:**  Idk why you're spreading these slanderous lies

**space stan:**  Tomato is like most fruit like fruit I've ever seen in my life

**dumbest cunt ever:**  ONLY WEIRD PEOPLE DRINK TOMATO JUIVE 

**dumbest cunt ever:** tomato sauce is good 

**dumbest cunt ever:** but it's only for savory food 

**space stan:** catch me adding tomato to my fruit salad 

**dumbest cunt ever:** IMG WHAT 

_wholesome lesbian voted for "yes" in the poll: is egg better with tomato?_

_bread voted for "no" in the poll: is egg better with tomato?_

**dumbest cunt ever:**  u guys realise the question is does egg taste better with tomato

**dumbest cunt ever:**?

**dumbest cunt ever:**  and not is egg better than tomato

**gAy:** yeah 

**space stan:** they know 

**dumbest cunt ever:** WHAT!

**dumbest cunt ever:**  i was hoping u all could not read

**space stan:**  they just think egg better by its lonesome

**gAy:**  I mean I hate tomato so I don't see how egg would taste any better with it

**space stan:**  or w/ bacon

**space stan:** like cheese is kinda pushing it but like i can get behind it sometimes


	12. claire is a good boy™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **bread:** ew no hets in the chat 
> 
> **gAy:** mari you're literally dating two (2) boys 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not to be rude but have yall heard about my buddy claire bc they're g8 10/10 a quality human who deserves the absolute best in the world
> 
> [their ao3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purplethorn)
> 
> read theur stuff its qualitea

**#1 salty boy:** i am straighter than originally planned 

**#1 salty boy:** i think i may possibly be having emotions for a b o y 

**bread:** ew no hets in the chat 

**gAy:** mari you're literally dating two (2) boys 

**bread:** yeah and one (1) girl 

**bread:** i assure it's fucking gay as heck in the poly pit 

**wholesome lesbian:** pls censor yourself there are children present (i am a children) 

**bread:** oh sorry 

**bread:** i assure it's fucking gay as h*ck in the poly pit 

**wholesome lesbian:** better 

**dumbest cunt ever:** which boy chloe 

**#1 salty boy:** smh none of your boys 

**dumbest cunt ever:** yeah no i knew that 

**dumbest cunt ever:** they've worked very hard to establish themselves as the weird older brothers of the group 

**space stan:** i thought i was more of the gay cousin than anything else 

**ugg boots:** dude ur dating 2 grils 

**space stan:** yeah but like im also dating u 

**#1 salty boy:** omg we get it u 4 are dating and like each other for some reason and probably have rlly weird kinky sex 

**bread:** vore 

**chaotic goblin:** outta my house 

**space stan:** chloe tell us which boy you are in hetero with 

**#1 salty boy:** i'm not in hetero with any boy 

**dumbest cunt ever:** pls i have to know so i can lowkey meddle 

**#1 salty boy:** why tho???

**dumbest cunt ever:** running the ladyblog gets boring once you're dating ladybug and chat noir 

**bread:** oh ok 

**space stan:** we see how it is 

**#1 salty boy:** like i'd tell any of you 

**chaotic goblin:** i bet it's max 

**#1 salty boy:** literally why would it be max 

**chaotic goblin:** idk maybe you have a type 

**#1 salty boy:** i do not have a type !!!!!!!


	13. Let's make a bow with old cut ties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **ugg boots:** haha get fuckt alya 
> 
> **chaotic goblin:** is this what being in a relationship is like?????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dodie's new ep is 10/10, the studio version of in the middle is such a bop honestly, bles thsi ep

**chaotic goblin:** it has just hit me that everyone in this chat except me is either dating someone or in pining hell 

**space stan:** ya 

**chaotic goblin:** so if you had to describe in one song what would it be 

**dumbest cunt ever:** prolly like toothpaste kisses or smthn 

**wholesome lesbian:** aww thats cute 

**wholesome lesbian:** jules and i would be love at first sight 

**gAy:** by the brobecks 

**wholesome lesbian:** ya 

**bread:** aww dats cute 

**ugg boots:** um get #fuckt alya 

**ugg boots:** the ot4 is clearly in the middle 

**#1 salty boy:** the song about a threesome??????

**ugg boots:** look not everyone song can be perfect

**ugg boots:** there aren't a lot of songs about foursomes ok 

**bread:** tf is in the middle 

**ugg boots:** it's a dodie song 

**bread:** oh that british girl you stan 

**space stan:** doesn't have a song about the dentists 

**ugg boots:** i have a hole in my tooth and the dentists are shut is a bop 

**dumbest cunt ever:** listen,,,,, ik ur like the musical one in our gang 

**dumbest cunt ever:** but idk if you can call ukulele songs bops 

**ugg boots:** ummmm i have a hole in my tooth also has recorder so check yourself 

**bread:** ok gang im listening to in the middle rn and ngl it's a bop 

**ugg boots:** haha get fuckt alya 

**chaotic goblin:** is this what being in a relationship is like?????

**gAy:** i think telling each other to get fuckt is an ot4 thing 

**wholesome lesbian:** ye me and jules are pure™

**chaotic goblin:** chloe wats the song for u and mystery boy 

**#1 salty boy:** i dunno 

**wholesome lesbian:** well hecking work it out 

**#1 salty boy:** honey by the hush sound?????

**dumbest cunt ever:** damnit that tells us nothing 


	14. the chapter niamh and i wrote together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **wholesome lesbian:**  but 9 is when you have boring missionary with your hubby to keep your relationship afloat, is it not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i say niamh and i wrote it together we just went through the hogwarts discord and stole stuff from there, speaking of which if you would like to join the discord and are between the ages of 16 and 25 feel free to ask for the link over at my
> 
> [tumblr](http://pair-of-suspencers.tumblr.com/)
> 
> all the offical requirements and features of the server can be found at
> 
> [this](https://something-remarkable.tumblr.com/post/165005930573/do-you-like-harry-potter-do-you-wanna-make-some)
> 
> post. also catch my rebrand bc i have offically renamed myself spencer cause the social dysphoria was killing me

**dumbest cunt ever:** do you think pigeons have feelings? 

**dumbest cunt ever:**  Im asking for a friend

**space stan:**  no 

**ugg boots:**  pigeons are beautiful and are capable of a range of emotions

**dumbest cunt ever:** DEBATE

**space stan:**  pigeons are beautiful but they're emotionless fools

**space stan:**  they lust only for bread and the thrill of running away from walking people

**ugg boots:**  our school is full of them and they have personalities. one of them is shunned by the ladies but doesn't seem to realise. on friday they had a mad brawl over food

**space stan:**  i've been proven wrong, pigeons have hearts

**dumbest cunt ever:**  This has been a learning experience

**space stan:**  i cant believe i was so wrong 

**bread:**  Just got done seeing IT

**#1 salty boy:**  absolutely not, do Not want to hear, miss me with that clown shit

**gAy:** i don't fuck with horror movies 

**wholesome lesbian:**  HIT THE WHIP, MY FAMILY

**wholesome lesbian:**  [does the macarena]

**bread:**   _hits the whip responsibly_

**ugg boots:**   _hits the whip wildly_

**chaotic goblin:**   _hits the whip in the whitest way imaginable_

**wholesome lesbian:** @gAy  i dont see you whipping, barbara, could it be youre still upset after your pto brownies flopped?

**wholesome lesbian:**  of course, they're reminiscent of your second marriage, but....

**gAy:**  youre uninvited to my third husband's culdesac barbeque, josephine. now get out before i run you over with my honda civic

**dumbest cunt ever:**  I love petty middle aged white women

**wholesome lesbian:**  anyway, matilda: that's funny. you can go ahead and contact my lawyer now with a threat like that. see you in court, sweetie. hugs xoxo

**chaotic goblin:**  Josephine you are a minx!!! The kids will love this. I'll see you at Friday's wine and design, sweetie!

**wholesome lesbian:**  katherine coming out of the left field to devastate

**gAy:**  sure thing, katherine!! love ya, such a wild card(-:

**gAy:**  by the way, please tell your kids to behave, their behavior last time was unacceptable and i wont hesitate to kick you out of painting with a twist.

**gAy:** of course, they cant help what they learn from their brute mother. kisses,-matilda

**wholesome lesbian:**  brute

**wholesome lesbian:**  so when r u guys gonna fight

**dumbest cunt ever:**  Meet in the Kmart parking lot at 3am

**gAy:**  3am is much too late, i have to take my kids to youth group tomorrow morning

**dumbest cunt ever:**  How about 8:30pm?

**gAy:**  that's better

**dumbest cunt ever:**  I'll bring the wine and cheese xxx

**wholesome lesbian:**  but 9 is when you have boring missionary with your hubby to keep your relationship afloat, is it not?

**gAy:** im crying 

**dumbest cunt ever:**  Omg Josephine you're so wild

 


	15. twentygayteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year fuckos, since it's a new year i figured i'd give you a list of everyone's names since lbr even i forgot who's who 
> 
> Mari: bread   
> Adrien: space stan  
> Nino: ugg boots   
> Alya: dumbest cunt ever   
> Sabrina: chaotic goblin   
> Chloe: #1 salty boy   
> Juleka: gAy   
> Rose: wholesome lesbian

**gAy:** happy new year fuckos 

**gAy:** twentygayteen 

**wholesome lesbian:** this is a gays only year go home! 

**ugg boots:** name one (1) hetero in this gc 

**chaotic goblin:** you can hear the cishets dying in the streets 

**bread:** god i wish that were me 

**dumbest cunt ever:** NO!! DYING IS BANNED IN THE YEAR OF THE GAYS  

**space stan:** yall know its a new moon right?

**chaotic goblin:** new moon new me 

**ugg boots:** mood 

**space stan:** its gonna be in cancer so watch out 

**bread:** emotions,, loev that bih 

**space stan:** shes my fav  

**space stan:** also my moon is in cancer so like maybe this will be good for me 

**gAy:** im sorry are we all ignoring the fact that adrien is talking about astrology 

**dumbest cunt ever:** *sigh* its best to just let him go 

**space stan:** the stars know what they're doing let me live!!!

**#1 salty boy:** new year same crush 

**bread:** god mood 

**chaotic goblin:** you're in a committed relationship w/ 3 other people? 

**bread:** ya and i still have a crush on each one of those losers 

**dumbest cunt ever:** awww babe 

**dumbest cunt ever:** you call me a loser again and youll catch these hands 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on
> 
> [tumblr](http://projectspencer.tumblr.com/) support me on [ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/redreign/)
> 
>  

**Author's Note:**

> it's ya boi back from the ded, im back bc im bored and have literally zero self control
> 
> follow me on
> 
> [tumblr](http://ididntjusttrip.tumblr.com/)


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